lovemakesroom

People often ask me, “How’s foster parenting going?”

The truth is, some days I don’t even know how to answer that question.

The last month has been a blur of doctor’s appointments, paperwork, laundry, tears, celebrations, sickness, snacks, hugs, and more miles on my vehicle than I care to count. Somewhere in the middle of it all, life kept moving.

Our FS15 became a dad on June 2nd. Watching him step into fatherhood has been both beautiful and emotional. There have been several trips back and forth to support him, celebrate with him, and help him navigate this brand-new chapter of life.

FD7 has been an absolute trooper. In the last month alone, she’s endured cavity fillings, extractions, and caps. Just when we thought we had crossed the finish line, she developed her third ear infection in two months, which resulted in a ruptured eardrum. Cue more appointments, medications, ENT follow-ups, and hearing tests.

No sooner had she started feeling better than FS3 landed us in the ER. Twice.

After two emergency room visits, a staph infection diagnosis, antibiotics, drops, creams, and nearly two weeks home from daycare, we finally began to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thankfully, everyone is now on the mend.

Sprinkled throughout the month were sibling visits, CASA visits, daycare changes, teeth cleanings, wisdom tooth extraction appointments for FS15, and the normal day-to-day appointments that come with raising children who have experienced trauma.

And because children deserve opportunities to simply be children, we squeezed in a basketball camp, five weeks of track camp, and even a hip-hop dance class trial with Royalty Dance Studio for FD7.

Somewhere in there, I was also trying to stay afloat at work.

My husband’s busy season meant he was gone three out of the last four weeks, leaving me flying solo for much of the month. Like so many spouses of people who work seasonal or demanding jobs, I found myself trying to be everything to everyone all at once.

Employee. Mom. Foster mom. Chauffeur. Nurse. Advocate. Cook. Case manager. Appointment coordinator. Homework helper. Comforter. Cheerleader.

The truth is, there were moments this month when I sat in my car and wondered, What am I doing wrong?

I couldn’t keep everyone at work happy.

I couldn’t make all three kids happy at the same time—apparently an impossible task anyway.

I couldn’t answer every text immediately, return every phone call promptly, or keep the house in the condition I would have liked.

Some days, surviving was the accomplishment.

Foster care has a way of stretching you beyond what you think you’re capable of. It exposes every weakness and every strength simultaneously. It will humble you, exhaust you, and break your heart open in ways you never expected.

But it will also show you extraordinary resilience.

I’ve watched children bravely endure medical procedures. I’ve watched siblings cling to one another after visits. I’ve watched a teenager become a father. I’ve watched healing happen in tiny, almost imperceptible ways.

And I’ve learned that sometimes being a good foster parent doesn’t look like having it all together.

Sometimes it looks like showing up anyway.

Showing up to appointments.

Showing up for visits.

Showing up after sleepless nights.

Showing up when you’re overwhelmed, discouraged, and questioning yourself.

Because these kids deserve someone who keeps showing up.

As I sit here wondering where on earth June went, I realize we may not have done everything perfectly, but we loved hard.

And in this house, that’s enough.

Here’s to hoping July slows down just a little.

(Although, if foster care has taught me anything, it probably won’t.)